That's When I Reach for My First Amendment

Time for some true confessions...last weekend at those Mets-Padres games, to be sure I was in the tenor of the times (as being in the soprano of the times would have meant a few more kicks to my groin from my father-in-law), I brought a gun. Of course I didn't conceal it, anymore than I'd conceal my Mets cap or Mr. Met t-shirt. After all, it's part of my First Amendment rights to express myself, and if I happen to like to express myself with a gun, well, that's just America, isn't it?

In fact, by using the Second Amendment to use the First Amendment, I've got like 20% of the Bill of Rights covered. It makes me even more of an American to use the Constitution in this way.

Say the Padres score more runs than the Mets. (Not that the Mets ever get beat.) I could just shout my displeasure, or I could say that the tree of Padres rooting must be watered with the blood of Padres fans every now and then (good thing for the Padres, they don't have too many fans). That's just Jeffersonian. For I really can only express myself with the help of my friends Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson.