This Job Has Me Going in Circles (Glenn or Glenn-Dem?)

Friday marks the 47th anniversary of John Glenn becoming the first American to orbit the earth (in a spaceship, that is). Sure, Soviets had done it before, but given the USSR doesn't even exist anymore, all the Space Race records are now ours. Our perhaps they should be theirs, since space is nothingness, which is more like a country that doesn't exist. It's way too easy for one's brain to hurt when you consider the cosmos. That's why it's better just to drink cosmos. But to drink cosmos you need vodka, so the darn Russkies win again. And with that we've completed one orbit, even without burning up our pun-shield.