Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Wanna Bet We'll Long for this Level of Dirty Ad in October?

McCain's ads are so ripe it's as if they were not meant to push a candidate but instead were designed to be texts for a Stanley Fish class. Take a gander at this:

OK, done retching? Here are some of the possible messages:

1) Don't trust a politician who can draw a crowd.
2) Politicians shouldn't be celebrities (unless they have starred in movies with chimps or Brigitte Nielsen).
3) Three syllable names can be chanted. Politicians shouldn't have three syllable names.
4) Lots of Germans bad; Germans at the Fudge Haus good, especially with Lindsey Graham at your side (insert your own fudge in the closet joke here).

5) Only blond ditsy young women are celebrities.
6) Correction: and there's a youngish black guy who is one too!
7) There's a youngish black guy after our young blond women.
8) Hey, lookie here! A big black column! (Paging Mr. Freud.)
9) Now that column is rising into the frame! Is this a McCain ad 2008 or a Dole ad 2008?
10) Gas prices are soaring because we aren't drilling offshore.
11) Perhaps Obama is so popular with foreigners as they're offshore too.
12) Aw, that Obama probably won't drill for oil offshore because we won't get any of it in the 8 years he could be president. How selfish is that?
13) The only way to reduce our foreign oil dependency is to drill offshore. (We couldn't, after all, suggest there's alternative energy.)
14) Here's pre-9/11 thinking for you: New Taxes is pronounced Osama Bin Laden in Republican.
15) You know how to avoid raising taxes no matter the deficit? Fund the war that never should have happened completely off-budget. That's financial genius.
16) I'm John McCain and I'll approve of anything.
17) Or, perhaps John McCain is really Noah Cross: "See, Mr. Gitts, most people never have to face the fact that, at the right time and the right place, they're capable of... anything! "
18) No matter, for as the old-timers would say, "That's mighty white of you, John McCain."

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Blogger Brian H said...

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Didn't your parents ever teach you not to make fun of the elderly?


(The Brit and Paris flashes were about as subtle as a freight train...)

5:28 PM  
Anonymous Al Bonowitz said...

Old dude probably saw how well it worked for W against him eight years ago and figured he'd give it a try.

Maybe this already exists on YouTube, but I'm waiting for someone to post a video response to McC with Juno's "Silencio, Old Man."

10:54 PM  
Blogger Deb said...

Never mind Brian, George, he IS, after all, a Philly fan *sigh*.

Anyway, I think the old guy went a step too far with this ad. And frankly, the old guy is one of the most unappealing candidates ever to come down the pike, with the possible exception of John Kerry, but that's neither here nor there. While Obama (who mind you, I'm not really crazy about) is running a brilliant campaign, imv, anyway, the old guy is serving up textbooks examples of why people hate politics and politicians.

If'n he keeps this up, he's doomed, if he isn't already, which I personally think he is. I mean, the only people I know who admit that they might vote for him are the same people who enthusiastically backed and voted for Brett Schundler for governor of New Jersey a few years ago, and were actually shocked when he lost.

Brett WHO? you say.

Made my point, huh! lol

6:07 AM  
Anonymous jeff said...

is it just my own subliminability, or does McCain seem to have a mancrush on our lanky leader?

12:01 PM  
Blogger Rickey Henderson said...

...inferiority complex is more like it. What a childish and offensively stupid ad. If Rickey's a Republican voter, he's embarassed as all hell right now.

1:21 PM  
Blogger George said...

I'm embarrassed just as a voter.

Jeff, we all have a crush on Obama.

2:17 PM  
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3:02 AM  

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