Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Invade It Till Your Satisfied, Whatever It Is

Dick Cheney insists on November 21: "It is a dangerous illusion to suppose that another retreat by the civilized world would satisfy the appetite of the terrorists and get them to leave us alone. In fact such a retreat would convince the terrorists that free nations will change our policies, forsake our friends, abandon our interests whenever we are confronted with murder and blackmail. A precipitous withdrawal from Iraq would be a victory for the terrorists, an invitation to further violence against free nations, and a terrible blow to the future security of the United States of America."

The UK Guardian reports on November 22: "Leaders of Iraq's sharply divided Shiites, Kurds and Sunnis called Monday for a timetable for the withdrawal of U.S.-led forces in the country and said Iraq's opposition had a 'legitimate right' of resistance.

"The final communique, hammered out at the end of three days of negotiations at a preparatory reconciliation conference under the auspices of the Arab League, condemned terrorism, but was a clear acknowledgment of the Sunni position that insurgents should not be labeled as terrorists if their operations do not target innocent civilians or institutions designed to provide for the welfare of Iraqi citizens.

"The participants in Cairo agreed on 'calling for the withdrawal of foreign troops according to a timetable, through putting in place an immediate national program to rebuild the armed forces ... control the borders and the security situation' and end terror attacks."

No doubt on November 25, and therefore buried in all the news stories about the busiest shopping day of the year, that is if people are awakened enough from their tryptophan comas to notice, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld will say: "Freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things. Alas, the United States has decided that Iraq has done a very bad thing. Therefore, we will re-invade the country starting December 1, to overthrow this government that seems to have forgotten it owes us one."

Rumsfeld will continue, "Not only will this give us a second chance at getting some people in power who are properly grateful, but it will also allow us to shine, as invasions we're very good at. As for what comes after the initial smashing military success, well, stuff happens."


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