Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Fringier than Your Average Fringe

Don't know if you heard yesterday on NPR, but among those paying their respects to Chief Justice Rehnquist was a group called Survivors of the Abortion Holocaust. Confused why they didn't opt to call themselves simply The Living, I figured I had to cyber-hunt these folks down on the internets, and sure enough, they have a website, even if the majority of the jpgs won't load (or maybe my computer simply chooses to censor out their typically graphic over-done images). I have to admit getting a kick out of the fetal skeleton logo though, a swell mix of pirate, haunted house and doll images that still makes a lovely t-shirt. (Although in reality it sort of messes with their intended purpose, for if the fetus was a skeleton, it's mom who's in deep trouble. And mom is just a test tube.)

Checking out the About Us page gets to the ugly heart of the matter. The page is full of slip-sliding diction that omits fetuses but jams children, classmates, friends, brothers and sisters up a poor woman's uterus, as if an embryo wasn't enough. They exaggerate the number of abortions per day (at least if the U.S. census site can be trusted) to jack up their rhetoric. They write this terrific sentence: "Like our founding patriot fathers and the Civil War abolitionist, The Survivors believe that abortion is the issue of our day..." which is either just mushy grammar or evinces a sense of history that, at best, is confused (somewhere William Lloyd Garrison is screaming, "Keep the damn slaves--just stop abortion!").

And, of course, we get to the crux of the matter--you all just have sex on the brain, damn you!:

We believe sex was designed by God for the marriage relationship. We believe that to prevent unwanted pregnancies people should behave responsibly by practicing sexual purity until marriage. Sexual abstinence is the first step to abortion prevention.

This paragraph brings all kinds of thoughts to my surely-headed-to-hell mind. What were the design conditions like when God whipped up the beast with two backs? Were there actual test subjects, or did he do it all on paper? Does "practicing sexual purity" involve lots of towels? Or does it just mean denying you enjoyed it?

Notice these folks also probably ring the intelligent design and anti-gay marriage loony bells, too.

Notice they are the ones happy with the Roberts nomination to replace their dearly departed Rehnquist. Isn't it odd to think that stuffed in the coffin with Rehnquist might be Roe v. Wade.


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